Understanding culture and diversity in a pluralistic society such as the one at UCLA is as complicated as understanding human nature.  It is a reality based on unseen dimensions rooted in unacknowledged patterns of thoughts and behaviors.  Understanding those who are culturally different from ourselves calls not only for a conscious awareness of our personal worldview, but also a conscious awareness of how our worldview affects others operating from a different worldview.  One of the primary challenges of diversity is learning how to respond and interact with respect, encouragement, and openness to those whose interests, values, customs, and perspectives differ from our own.  Living in a diverse society is often very difficult and though it can be a source for enrichment and learning, it can also be a source for dissention and divisiveness.

Inevitably, people who see things differently and whose values vary significantly have the potential to be in conflict at some point.  Our backgrounds and priorities may be markedly different.  At times, this conflict can be rather intense but there can also be moments of extreme learning and understanding.  Through conflict, we are able to reexamine and reaffirm the essential values we hold while simultaneously reexamining our stereotypes and non-essential biases.

There are various ways in which one can approach conflict resolution.  The following offers culturally appropriate strategies that go beyond a westernized approach to conflict resolution and management.

First, explore in a quiet, honest reflection with yourself what your sense of the conflict is about and why you are experiencing yourself upset or angered.  In this deep self-reflection it is important to recognize that you have assumptions that underlie your beliefs and values and to recognize that different assumptions inevitably underlie the worldview of the person or persons with whom you are in conflict.

Second, in your thinking about the conflict, be as specific as possible about the issues.  Generalizing the issues and personalizing the conflict only escalates the tension and makes resolution less accessible.  Most importantly in this stage is to not make the assumption that just because you are in conflict with someone of a different culture that the conflict is culturally based.  Though the people in the conflict may be from different cultures, the actual conflict might be something as benign as computer time or telephone usage.

Third, consider asking the person with whom you are in conflict what their concerns are and what their perspective is.  In your query, ask for frequent expansion on points that you are unfamiliar with, especially if they relate to a cultural issue. It is important to remember that conflict often arises because people feel they are not heard.  Someone once said that we have two ears and one mouth so that we are reminded to listen twice as much as we speak.  Listening is the hallmark of communication and is a critical piece of conflict resolution.  In the end you may agree to disagree, but at least both of you will feel heard.

Fourth, explore together, if possible, how you both can address the problem, rather than remain in conflict.  Do not assume that the end result has to include a winner and a loser or someone who was right and someone who was wrong.  By exploring together, you can investigate cultural norms that might be involved in the dispute.  This allows for the possibility that the dispute could be a matter of misunderstanding while simultaneously validating the cultural component for everyone involved.

Fifth, if an impasse arises and you both want to solve the problem, seek the advice of a trusted third party.  Be sure the third party is someone with whom both members of the dispute feel comfortable.  In addition to informal resources, the university community provides a number of settings for facilitating conflict resolution.  The Campus Conciliation Service and the Ombudsman Program were both created to offer key resources for students and faculty in resolving conflict.  Residence Hall Advisors are ready to assist in resolving conflict arising in one’s residential setting.  The Counseling Center offers counseling resources to help individuals find positive resolutions to instances of cultural conflict.

It is important to remember that conflict will arise at various points during your career at UCLA and beyond.  Dealing with conflict, especially with someone of a different culture, can be uneasy and difficult.  Appreciating the diversity in cultures and worldviews will help facilitate a positive outcome in conflict resolution.  By confronting conflict from an open-minded, win-win, and learning perspective, both parties involved in the conflict will be better off within themselves, their relationships, and the world around them.