Developing a Winning Attitude

As a rule, people aspire to be successful. In fact, there is an almost unspoken expectation that people try to succeed at something. This makes perfect sense, given that people are socialized through early family and peer group experiences as well as through the educational system and the mass media to value "winning", "achievement", "reaching for the stars", and being "all you can be".

When not taken to the extreme, being successful becomes an important and positive goal to value. What's more, success can feel especially satisfying when it is achieved in several areas of one's life simultaneously, such as work, school, athletics, and relationships. The process of achieving success, however, can often feel frustrating and, at times, quite aggravating, for while most persons have been socialized to succeed, few really know what it takes to actually do so.

It seems true that definitions of success vary depending upon whom you talk to and depending upon the context within which it occurs. If you asked ten people to define success, you're likely to get ten slightly different definitions. Common to most definitions of success, however, is the belief that success is the result of "thinking" and "behaving" in ways consistent with the desired outcome. In other words, a large part of a person's success results from their strong, heart-felt belief that success is possible and from them executing "doing" behavior.

Studies of highly successful people, for example, consistently reveal that they are mentally and psychologically focused. They have a solid belief in themselves and in their ability to accomplish that which they have set out to do. Highly successful people are driven toward predetermined and well thought out goals with a desire that tolerates few, if any, distractions. They tend to dwell on the rewards of success and not on the penalties for failure. They also tend to focus on past victories, not past defeats. Highly successful people have little doubt that they will succeed. In fact, they expect to do so. Also, their appraisal of what they can and can't do highlights their strengths within the context of real vs. perceived weaknesses. They take full responsibility for the outcome of any situation in which they have invested time and energy, whether what results is "good" or "bad". Finally they tend not to blame their fortune or misfortune on such things as luck, karma, happenstance, accidents, or being in the right place at the right time.

In addition to being mentally and psychologically focused, highly successful people allow themselves to "behave" in ways that are in keeping with their beliefs. They are not afraid to take risks and to "just do it". They are also very self-disciplined and methodical in their approach to completing tasks. If necessary, they are also willing to experiment with some new behavior. If behavior "A" fails, they are already to proceed with behaviors "B" and "C".

Students wanting to succeed this quarter might want to consider the following. Start off the quarter believing that you can succeed, and commit all of your internal and external resources to doing so. Trust that you will be able to handle whatever demands you are confronted with and believe that you are in full control of your academic destiny. Do not focus on the quarter's outcome (i.e., the final grade), rather, focus on the process involved in obtaining the outcome you desire. Agree to go to every class, on time, and to participate actively in it once there. Sit yourself somewhere in the middle of the first two rows, take copious notes, and involve yourself fully in any classroom discussion. See to it that the professor becomes "your professor" and not simply the "professor of the class". Treat yourself to studying daily, or nightly, and challenge yourself to find ways to make that which you are studying exciting and interesting. Review your work regularly, and develop the belief that exams and quizzes are not opportunities to expose your weaknesses. They represent opportunities for you to demonstrate within a fixed period of time what you have learned thus far. Encourage your friends to support your "quest for success" experiment. Share your schedule with them, letting them know when you are going to study and when you are going to play. Set limits, and agree to stick to them one quarter at a time. Finally, deliberately choose to direct some additional energies to such things as exercise, nutrition, rest, and spiritual nourishment. In other words, insist on leading a balanced life.

With a little structure and discipline, you can make things happen. If you would like some assistance in putting together a study program that can work for you, let The Counseling Center give you a hand. You can call or come by one of our two locations to schedule an appointment to speak with one of the staff. Remember, you can be successful, and no one can make you feel otherwise . . without your consent.